Autism is a bit like loving the moon… some kind of idealistic
At some day by a sudden impulse I realised how beautifully a soft breeze was tousling your hair. And in the sunshine every strand shimmered in many colours. Since that day I loved the wind.
Your smile promised a field of mint and your eyes the rough sea, so far out till the horizon got round.
And I walked a while at your side until night came along.
But the wind was still on and played with your hair in the moonlight.
And the moon changed its colours. The moon made it silver, darkblue and deep. The moon became brother of the wind and I loved him as well. How uncomparable it reflected on your face.
“Look at me.” I said, “please, look at me. I want to see the wind and the moon in you.” You smiled at me and I melted by so much moon, I could count its rays. And I felt that silver hand closing around my middle pulling me to inner floods.
Nearly I already loved the moon more than the wind.
And in the very early morning dawn when the wind decided to sleep I saw you released in wonderful radiance of reflections of my deeply beloved dream of the night. Oh yes, this night was mine. You were mine. Naked blaze at dawn.
Then the sun came. The shining in your hair was not the same. Without the wind there was silence on your head. And the sun didn´t bring the blaze on your face that I thought to own, at least in darkness grateful revelation of modest light.
And you became a stranger to me. In further nights the moon started to veil its face and retreated from you and me. No. don´t look at me anymore! I can´t find in your features anymore what was lovable and all to me, what took me away in rapture, drove me, tortured and brought me to sweet enthusiasm. What I saw now was a human face.
Why are you so close?! Have you not been on the moon lately? Didn´t we play there? And in what kind of paradise have we been while the wind was still playing in your hair?
You shake me and shout at me. “What will be with us?! What about our covenant, out love?! You don´t love me anymore!”
But… I never loved you. I loved the wind and the moon. And you were so beautiful to make me realise them.
You weep, you swear, you curse me. What have I done to you? I wish you could have felt with me what I see. Have you really never been a friend? Just vanity?
And when the moon came back, you disappeared. I raised my head to the night sky. You cruel moon. To love you is solitude.
And while I stood and stood there, all in a sudden a warm breeze came up. The wind played with my hair tenderly and softly caressed my face.
Oh wind, how I loved and love you, my friend.